Oyster Girl Summer
Another craving has hit my wallet
I’m not really sure why I like oysters so much. It’s a relatively newfound fixation for me, having started around this season last year. But I didn’t try oysters for the first time in 2024. The first time I had one, I was:
10 years old
In Florida
It was half steamed, half raw, and
It tasted absolutely fucking disgusting.
I think the rationale my parents took at the time was that because it was me and my brother’s first time trying oysters, we could have them partially cooked to ease our way into it. Thus we got the worst of both worlds.
It took me twelve years to give them another go, this time at Tsukiji Fish Market in Tokyo. This time raw, and to make matters worse, the size of these things offered no mercy. Shells the size of my hand with my only accoutrement being one of those yellow plastic lemon squeeze bottles. Once again, I was disgusted and deterred.
I wish I could say it was my unique sense of willpower that got me coming back, willing to brave my growing sense of disgust and try again. Unfortunately not the case. Walking around the city a few hours later, I started feeling peckish again. Newfound realization and horror dawned on me as I realized I was craving…oyster.
Since then, I’ve partaken a couple of times, whenever the craving would hit. A chef’s selection on ice at Shaw’s Crab House got me hopeful that maybe the full experience could be enjoyable, actually. $24 for half a dozen drowned in tiger’s milk at Kayao had me damn near falling in love. It was those oysters at Kayao, shared amongst friends in the summer of 2024, that really piqued my interest again.
Alas, I did not trust Midwestern restaurants when it came to oysters, and didn’t really think to ask around for spots that may have been selling the crème de la crème. The craving continued to grow into fall 2024, and when my friend Laura invited me out to Seattle to attend a concert at The Gorge, I jumped at the chance to visit the coastal city – for music and nature, yes, but most importantly, for oysters.
Tragically, I was still an oyster novice at the time. New chum. A raw rookie. A seafood student, if you will. I didn’t know that East and West Coast oysters were so different. All I knew across my tentative tastings was that I really hated some of the oysters I was trying and absolutely loved others. And that distinction became very clear to me once I arrived in Seattle.
The trip was a blast, but the oysters felt like a betrayal. It would be 8 months before I tried them again.
And tried again I did. Quite a few more, actually. Now I can credit my sheer sense of willpower when it comes to trying all food. A precursory reddit search and asking around gave me a few leads to try, and from there I had around 100 oysters from May through August of this year. Rookie numbers for the true veterans, I know – but for a girl who’d only enjoyed maybe a dozen oysters over the past three years combined, this was a huge leap.
The Publican was my first stop, and I’m so, so glad it was. Not only did the oysters they offered rank consistently high on my list, but the staff were so friendly and knowledgeable, and the rest of their happy hour deals aren’t bad either. I haven’t dined there for dinner, so I can’t speak to that, but in the derisive words of a friend, “it feels like you’re eating in a barn”. Wouldn’t know. I stick to patios in the summer. IYKYK, Chicago.
After walking back out the shuttered saloon doors of the restroom, and then the comically large glass-paned entrance with a door handle long enough to rival my height (okay, I saw what he meant now), I situated myself back on my patio chair and asked about their happy hour deal. $2 discounted from $5. Let’s start sampling.
To my horror, it was a west coast oyster that day. The hama hama. Begrudgingly, I ordered two. And they actually…weren’t bad. Dare I say it was the first ever West Coast oyster I actually enjoyed. If this was good, I had to try some of those East Coast oysters, even if they were $5 a pop. I ordered two each of the Tumblecan and the Wellfleets, and it was love at first bite.
The addiction and curiosity had set in, and I quickly made headway through my list. Bar Mar, Volo’s, Trivoli Tavern, Half Shell, Venteaux. Hugo’s Frog Bar & Fish House was top of my list to try as a friend from the East Coast had recommended it. We went together and left very impressed. I ended up returning twice. They do have a happy hour deal ($2.50 discounted from $5), but keep in mind it doesn’t extend out to their patio.
The grand finale of my oyster journey took me to Logan Square to visit Motor Shucker at their residency at Easy Does It. A mutual friend had really sold it to me at dinner a couple of nights before, touting it as “hot people sourcing exotic oysters from around the world”. After describing the types I usually gravitated towards (the oysters, not the people), he said I’d enjoy the NZ oysters in particular. I was heartbroken when I arrived, though, because there were no New Zealand Oysters or my beloved Wellfleets to be found. Only two oysters took residence on the menu — Canada Cups from PEI, which are ranked below, and Alabama oysters. With the gutting of the CDC and the meteoric rise of vibrio cases that have emerged from the South’s warmer waters in its wake, I decided for the sake of my hypochondria that it was not worth to chance it on the bama oysters just yet. Thankfully, some divine being from above took pity on my disappointment, and the menu swapped out while I was there. I got to close out my summer of oysters with a Massachusetts Moon Shoal.
Ultimately I’ve learned that I like smooth, clean-tasting oysters with mellow flavors and intensely briney liquors. I don’t like my oysters being super big or meaty. I also don’t like that west-coast famous “melon-cucumber” finish. It leaves a really weird aftertaste in my mouth – it’s almost filmy. 🤢
And while Oyster Girl Summer may be drawing to a close, my foray into this world definitely has not. Hell, I’ll probably be trying even more now that the weather’s getting cooler.
Here’s my definitive oyster ranking.
8-10: Automatic re-order.
6-7: Will order for the table.
5 & under: If you see me eating these (raw) again, it’s under duress.
9 - Tumblecan (Island Creek, MA) – Clean tasting. Delicious liquor. Gorgeous to look at. I think Kayao used these at one point. Grown adjacent to the Aunt Dotty’s farm, which is another favorite of mine. These originated from a collaboration between the owner of Chicago’s The Publican, Paul Kahan (hence the name), and the crew at Island Creek Oysters! Makes sense that an oyster that’s quintessentially Chicago ended up at the top of my list. I didn’t know the history behind it until I wrote this piece! Tragically, these oysters are very rare, only available for a few months out of the year.
9 - Wellfleet (MA) – So briney, and they taste so clean.
8 - Summer Love (PEI) – Smooth meat, decently briney.
8 - Canada Cup (PEI) — Very inoffensive. I think this would be a great starter oyster. Not too briney, not too fishy. A little boring, honestly — but I rank it so high because I think this would make the perfect template for when you’re looking to dress an oyster up (like how Kayao does).
7 - Coot Cove (MA) – Mineral taste.
7 - Matt’s Landing (MA) – Very neutral, not briney enough for my tastes
6 - Moon Shoal (MA) — noooot salty enough for me.
6 - Hama hama (OP) – most tolerable West Coast oyster. Also, the prettiest shells I’ve ever seen on an oyster.
6 - Blue Point (CT) – Not salty enough…just kind of mid. It gets a pity point because I tried these at Whole Foods and they were not shucked well. There was a ton of sand and grit in each one, to the point I asked if one of the oysters had spawned because the sand had turned its liquor murky (didn’t know BPs are farmed only at the time, or that the oyster supply chain wouldn’t in a million years be selling wild-caught oysters at Whole Foods).
6 - That one oyster I had in Japan (Japan???) – I think this ranking’s fair. It’s just been so long. It was my first in over a decade. I didn’t necessarily like it, but it got me coming back.
4 - Kumamoto (WA) – didn’t stand out to me? I don’t remember enough about it to say.
3 - Baywater Indigo (WA)
3 - Cliff Point (WA)
3 - Baywater Sweets (WA)
3 - Rudy’s (WA)
2 - Chesapeake Bay (VA) – No liquor and it’s fat. Everything I HATE in an oyster. Most west coast oysters may actually surpass this one. I’ll never have these raw again but I think they’d make for a decent grilled, deep-fried, or Rockefeller situation. Maybe even in Gulmuchim? A shame the cups are so shallow.
0 (???) - This West Coast oyster I had at Bar Mar that was soooo nasty. Only time I’ve ever spit one out. It had the strongest creamy/filmy mouthfeel I’ve ever gotten out of a West Coast oyster.
For the sake of this definitive list, here’s a ranking of the oysters I had at Shaw’s Crab House last year. I can’t numerically rank them in good faith since it’s been so long.
Aunt Dottys (MA) > Pickering Pass (WA) > Barstool Cocktail (PEI) = Chebooktook (NB) > Brisco Point (WA) > Blue Pool (WA) — same farm as hama hamas…so maybe my research method just sucks
Conclusion here is that Massachusetts oysters are the best in the country, and I desperately want to visit the Island Creek Farm. I can’t wait to continue my oyster journey and hopefully brave trying some Southern oysters in the winter months, as well as more international oysters in the future. My next trip to Japan will definitely include Hiroshima, which I hear has some of the best oysters in the country. And I’d love to hear where your favorite oyster is from. Help this girl expand her palette!
it's true, Tumblecans are the best oyster when you can get them. Aunt Dotty's are a close second (grown on the same farm). Come visit soon!